Entries from April 2007 ↓

Went to the dogs yesterday, to do some innocent betting on greyhounds, that will probably be shot and buried in some disused estate in a few years.

I can recommend that you don’t drink alcohol whilst taking anti-biotics; I knew I shouldn’t have done, but I feel rough/ruff now. Might have been the hot dog I ate there instead…

Two jokes slipped into the above paragraphs by accident.

Watched an interesting TV programme last night with Stephen Fry talking to a psychiatrist (Pamela Stephenson, Billy Connoly’s wife). Fry has biploar disorder (manic depression) and it rang some bells with me, though I don’t think I’m anywhere near as extrememe as Fry, who went through some pretty scary sexual-abuse and bullying as a kid. He had a pretty sadistic father (I don’t) who seems to be like a second-party in everything that goes on in Fry’s life.

BBC article.

And to take with a pinch-of-salt: Wikipedia.

Fry doesn’t really have any desire to kill himself, just wants to not be anymore. I liken it to having a permanent “off” switch, if I had one then I’d press it - rather than have to think about ways and implications of taking my own life.

I’m really struggling with Terry Brooks’s new series of books (Word and the Void). His The Sword of Shannara Trilogy series was simply superb; I read The Wishsong of Shannara in a day. I’ve finished the first book in the new series, but the second one is a real struggle - only managing a couple of pages a day, before I get fed up with it.

The same can be said of Stephen Donaldson’s new The Runes Of The Earth: The Last Chronicles of Thomas Covenant (Last Chronicles of Thomas Cove) - it’s so BORING, whereas the first two Chronicles were exceptional books.

Don’t you just love it when you look for a word in the dictionary and you open it up on exactly the right page?

… but here goes.

The last year has been pretty depressing for me. I’ve had sleepless nights thinking about why I’m still alive and maybe it would be better for me (yes yes, selfish cries) to not be here anymore. I said to myself at the beginning of the year that this would be my last year and that I would end it. I have been through lists of people who would REALLY miss me and have a handful of people who I think would. Having my best friend say that he’s going to get married has altered my thoughts somewhat. He was probably the highest on my list of people I didn’t want to tell, that I wanted to kill myself. I guess that’s what provoked my emotional response to him, yesterday. I only seem to live my life based on what’s coming up - if there’s nothing to look forward to, then what’s the point?

So there you go - my “news”. Will write more sometime on this topic.

picture

Yep - my news is that I’m getting engaged.

Not really. My best friend, who I’ve known since playschool, has got engaged. He texted me at lunch time, to ask how I’d look in a kilt! I’m ecstatic about it, had tears in my eyes when I read the text.

If I were to run Vista fully, at least I know my PC is up to running it now:

Won £46 on the Grand National yesterday (including getting bet back), for an each-way bet on Liberthine, that came in fifth. I didn’t realise that they pay for 1st - 5th positions, with an each-way bet, now. Flatmate’s girlfriend won £216…..

and I feel…. no pain

Been sixteen hours since I last took some Nurofen, so pretty happy. I’ve eaten 14 * 5 = 70 Nurofen in the last two weeks.

Went to bingo last night in Oxford. It’s the first time I’ve been and I can see how easily it could be, to become addicted to it. Main problem is the speed of the caller, as by the time I’d crossed off a number - the next number was being called, so even if I did have a line, or house, then it would have been too late to call it.

Changing tack slightly - I really like the skin that develops on milk, when you boil it. Is that strange? It’s a highlight of making Ovaltine at night.

Had my tooth looked at - temporarily fixed and antibiotics prescribed, until I get the tooth extracted.

The dentist realised that I was a nervous patient (I HATE dentists) and was really good with me. So much so - that I might write a thank-you letter to him.

Now - all I need is my tongue back under control.