social exclusion

I’m a quiet person when put into a large group of people. Some people take this as me not being interested, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m an observer, I like listening to what people are saying, even if what they’re saying is disagreeable. The only time that I can talk is one-on-one, with somebody who isn’t superficial or judgemental. If I have nothing useful to contribute to a conversation, then I won’t say anything. I don’t like TV soaps, so can’t (and don’t want to) take part in mindless conversations about who is sleeping with who, and why doesn’t X move out as oooooh she’s too good for Y.

If I’m out in a big group and not interacting with anybody - then I’ll leave, usually without saying anything to anybody. I don’t like saying goodbye - I’d rather just disappear. I liken it to becoming invisible.

4 comments ↓

#1 LornaJane on 20.02.07 at 3:03 pm

I’m a complete extrovert but I can see how not talking if you have nothing to say makes sense, in fact perhaps more people should try it (definitely putting that on my rainy day list but I doubt I’d be good at it). And I don’t relate to it but your preference for not saying much if there’s an audience is understandable, I’ve never found it odd although I imagine others could. Have you been quiet all your life?

I have to say this - the vanishing thing, its spooky for the people left behind to suddenly realise you’re … lost? I’m used to it now but I still think its polite to at least mutter to someone that you’re going :)

#2 simon on 20.02.07 at 5:43 pm

Yes, I’ve always been quiet. My first school report that I can remember was along the lines of “Simon will do better once he comes out of his shell”. I don’t think I’ve ventured far in 23 years, from the report.

#3 LornaJane on 21.02.07 at 8:40 am

Perhaps you will do better when you do? :)

#4 simon on 21.02.07 at 10:35 am

Maybe. This year may well be my last chance to change myself, before I get too pissed off with what a pathetic person I am.