Every now and again I have a look in the spam folder. Today’s amusement:
FROM MR.JOHN SMITH(M.A.B)
BILL AND EXCHANGE MANAGER,
METROPOLITAN ALLIED BANK(M.A.B)
ACCRA,GHANA,
WEST AFRICA.
ATTN:SIR/MADAM
MY NAME IS MR.JOHN SMITH,
I AM WRITING IN RESPECT OF A FOREIGN CUSTOMER OF MY BANK(WILLIAM
BARNES,OF AMERICA) WHO PERISHED IN THE PLANE CRASH OF 31 OCTOBER
1999[WITH EGYPTIAN AIRLINE 990] WITH OTHER PASSENGERS ABOARD.
SIR/MADAM, SINCE THE DEMISE OF WILLIAM BARNES, I PERSONALLY HAVE
WATCHED WITH KEEN INTEREST TO SEE THE NEXT OF KIN BUT ALL HAS PROVED
ABORTIVE AS NO ONE HAS COME TO CLAIM HER FUNDS OF USD30M,[THIRTY
MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS]HAS BEEN WITH OUR BANK HERE FOR A
VERY LONG TIME.
ON THIS NOTE I DECIDED TO SEEK FOR WHOM HIS NAME SHALL BE USED AS
THE NEXT OF KIN, AS NO ONE HAS COME UP TO PUT CLAIM AS THE NEXT OF KIN
TO THIS FUNDS AND THE BANKING ETHICS HERE DOES NOT ALLOW SUCH
MONEY TO STAY MORE THAN THIRTEEN YEARS, BECAUSE AFTER THIRTEEN
YEARS THE MONEY WILL BE CALLED BACK TO THE BANK TREASURY AS
UNCLAIMED BILL.
IN VIEW OF THIS I GOT YOUR CONTACT THROUGH MY COUNTRY’S FOREIGN
TRADE MISSION AFTER I WAS CONVINCED IN MY MIND THAT YOUR
NAME/COMPANY COULD BE USED AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO THIS CLAIM. THE
REQUEST OF THE FOREIGNER AS A NEXT OF KIN IN THIS BUSINESS IS
OCCASIONED BY THE FACT THAT THE CUSTOMER WAS A FOREIGNER AND A
GHANA CANNOT STAND AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO A FOREIGNER.
I AGREED THAT 30% OF THIS MONEY WILL BE FOR YOU AS A FOREIGN PARTNER
IN RESPECT OF PROVIDING AN ACCOUNT WHILE 10% WILL TAKE OF ANY
EXPENSES THAT MIGHT BE INCURRED IN THE PROCESS OF SUCCEEDING THE
TRANSFER AND THE REST WILL BE FOR ME. THEREAFTER I WILL VISIT YOUR
COUNTRY FOR DISBURSEMENT AS I AM ALMOST DUE FOR RETIREMENT.
UPON THE RECEIPT OF YOUR ACCEPTANCE, I WILL SEND YOU BY FAX OR E-MAIL
A DRAFT APPLICATION OF CLAIM WHICH YOU WILL SEND TO THE BANK AS THE
NEXT OF KIN AND THE NEXT STEP TO TAKE.
I WILL NOT FAIL TO BRING TO YOUR NOTICE THAT THIS BUSINESS IS HITCH
FREE AND THAT YOU SHOULD NOT ENTERTAIN ANY FEAR AS THE WHOLE
REQUIRED ARRANGEMENT HAS BEEN PERFECTED FOR THE TRANSFER.
HOPING TO HEAR FROM YOU.
REGARDS,
MR.JOHN SMITH
PLEASE REPLY TO MY PRIVATE EMAIL
